What Can Old People Do For You?

Think not what you can do for the elderly but what they can do for you because, in many cases, what you can do for them is to enable them to feel useful, wanted, valued.

Older people are not stupid, it just takes a little longer for bits of the brain to connect. Many older people have much wisdom. If you are patronising, they know.

So consider whether your attitude should be along the lines of helping to enlighten an elderly person that you know or fetching them cups of tea so they don't have to move - or whether it might be better to form a more natural give-and-take relationship.

Remember when you were young and your grandparents loved doing stuff with you, FOR you. It's natural to want to reciprocate as you become the stronger one but there is a danger of chipping away at their independence and self-worth if they become reliant on others. This is one of the major failings of some care homes - residents are generally not allowed to make hot drinks or butter some toast.

If you visit an elderly friend, please don't automatically jump in and do everything for them. If they can do something for you, please let them.